Marge: Just a small one. Excellent nosh, Petunia. A bit more. Usually just a fry-up for me, what with 12 dogs. A bit more. That’s a boy. You wanna try a drop of brandy. A little drop of brandy-brandy windy-wandy for Rippy-pooh? What are you smirking at? Where did you send the boy, Vernon?

Vernon: St. Brutus’. It’s a fine institution for hopeless cases.

Marge: Do they use a cane at St. Brutus’, boy?

Harry: Oh, yeah, yeah, I’ve been beaten loads of times.

Marge: Excellent. I won’t have this namby-pamby wishy-washy nonsense about not beating people who deserve it. You mustn’t blame yourself about how this one turned out Vernon. It’s all to do with blood. Bad blood will do out. What is it the boys father did, Petunia?

Petunia: Nothing. He-he didn’t work. He was unemployed.

Marge: And a drunk to, no doubt.

Harry: That’s a lie!

Marge: What did you say?

Harry: My dad wasn’t a drunk.

Marge: Don’t worry. Don’t worry. Don’t fuss. Petunia, I have a really firm grip.

Vernon: I think its time you went to bed.

Harry: Shut up! Shut up!

Marge: Right. Let me tell you...Vernon. Vernon. Vernon! Vernon, do something.

Vernon: Owe! Ripper! Stop! I’ve got you, Marge. I’ve got you. Hold on. Hold on. Get off.

Marge: Don’t you dare!

Vernon: Sorry.

Petunia: Oh Vernon!

Vernon: oh god. Marge! Please! Come back!......You bring her back! You bring her back now. You put here right!

Harry: No. She deserved what she got. Keep away from me.

Vernon: You’re not allowed to do magic outside of school.

Harry: Yeah? Try me.

Vernon: They won’t let you back now. You’ve no where to go.

Harry: I don’t care. Anywhere’s better than here.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Stan Shunpike: “Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transport for the stranded witch or wizard. My name is Stan Shunpike, and I will be your conductor for this evening.” What you doing down there?

Harry: I fell over.

Stan Shunpike: What you fell over for?

Stan Shunpike: Well come on then. Lets not wait for the grass to grow. What you looking at?

Harry: Nothing.

Stan Shunpike: Well come on then. In. No. No, no. I’ll get this, you get in......Come on. Move on, Move on... Take her away Ern.

Head thing: Yeah, take her away Ernie! It’s going to be a bumpy ride.

Stan Shunpike: What did you say your name was again?

Harry: I didn’t.

Stan Shunpike: Whereabouts are you headed?

Harry: The Leaky Cauldron. That’s in London.

Stan Shunpike: Did you hear that Ern? “The Leaky Cauldron. That’s in London.”

Head: The Leaky Cauldron. If you have the pea soup, make sure you eat it before it eats you.

Harry: But the muggles. Can’t they see us?

Stan Shunpike: Muggles? They don’t see nothing, do they?

Head: No but if you jab them with a fork, they feel. Ernie, little old lady at 12 o’clock...Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, three in a half, two, one and three quarters, Yes!

Stan Shunpike: Who is that? Who is-That is Sirius Black that is. Don’t tell me you’ve never been hearing of Sirius Black. He’s a murderer. Got himself locked up in Azkaban for it.

Harry: And how did he escape?

Stan Shunpike: Well that’s the question, isn’t it? He’s the first one that’s done it! He was a big supporter of You-Know-Who. I reckon you’ve heard of him.

Harry: Yeah. Him I’ve heard of.

Head-Ernie. Two double-deckers at 12 o’clock. They’re getting closer Ernie. Ernie, they’re right on top of us! Mind your head. Hey, guys, guys, why the long faces? Yeah, yeah. Nearly there, Nearly there.

Stan-The Leaky Cauldron.

Head-Next stop. Knockturn Alley.

Tom, the innkeeper: Ah, Mr. Potter, at last.

Stan: Take her away Ern.

Head: Yeah take her way Ernie.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Harry: Hedwig.

Cornelius: Nothing, of course. You’re safe. And that’s what matters. And tomorrow, you’ll be on your way back to Hogwarts. Oh, these are your new schoolbooks. I took the liberty of having them brought here for you. Now Tom will show you to your room.

Harry: Hedwig.

Cornelius Fudge: Oh, by the way Harry, whilst you’re here, it would be best if you didn’t...wander.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Housekeeper-Housekeeping. I’ll come back later.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Ron: I’m warning you, Hermione. Keep that bloody beast of yours away from Scabbers. Or I’ll turn it into a tea cozy.

Hermione: It’s a cat, Ron. What do you expect? It’s in his nature.

Ron: A cat? Is that what they told you? Looks more like a pig with hair if you ask me.

Hermione: That’s rich. Coming from the owner of that smelly old shoe brush. Its all right Crookshanks, just ignore the mean little boy.

Ron: Harry!

Hermione: Harry!

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Ron: Brilliant. Loads of old stuff like mummies, tombs, even Scabbers enjoyed himself.

Hermione: You know the Egyptians used to worship cats.

Ron: Yeah, along with the dung beetle.

Weasley twin: Not flashing that clipping about again, are you Ron?

Ron: I haven’t shown anyone.

Twin1: No. Not a soul. Not unless you count Tom. The Day Maid

Twin2: The night maid

Twin1: The cook. The bloke who fixed the toilet.

Mrs. Weasley: Harry.

Harry: Mrs. Weasley.

Mrs. Weasley: Good to see you, dear.

Harry: Good to see you, too.

Mrs. Weasley: Now, you’ve got everything you need?

Harry: Yep.

Mrs. Weasley: Yes? All of your books?

Harry: Yeah, it’s all upstairs.

Mrs. Weasley: All of your clothes?

Harry: Yeah, everything’s there.

Mrs. Weasley: Good boy.

Harry: Thank you.

Mr. Weasley: Harry Potter.

Harry: Mr. Weasley.

Harry: Yeah, sure.

Mr. Weasley: Hermione.

Hermione: Good morning Mr. Weasley.

Mr. Weasley: Looking forward to a new term?

Harry: Yeah, it should be great.

Mr. Weasley: Harry, there are some within the ministry who would strongly discourage me from divulging what I’m about to reveal to you. But I think you need to know the facts. You are in danger. Grave danger.

Harry: Has this anything to do with Sirius Black, sir?

Mr. Weasley: What do you know about Sirius Black, Harry?

Harry: Only that he’s escaped from Azkaban.

Mr. Weasley: Do you know why? Thirteen years ago when you stopped-

Harry: Vordemort.

Mr. Weasley: Don’t say his name.

Harry: Sorry.

Mr. Weasley: When you stopped, You-Know-Who, Black lost everything. But to this day, he still remains a faithful servant. And in his mind you are the only thing that stands in the way of You-Know-Who returning to power. And that is why he escaped from Azkaban. To find you.

Harry: And kill me.

Harry: Mr. Weasley, why would I go looking for someone who wants to kill me?

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Mrs. Weasley: Quick. Quick. Ron! Ron! Oh, for goodness sake! Don’t lose him!

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Harry: I didn’t mean to blow her up. It just...I lost control.

Ron: Brilliant

Hermione: Honestly, Ron, its not funny. Harry was lucky enough not to be expelled.

Harry: I think I was lucky enough not to be arrested, actually.

Ron: I still think it was brilliant.

Hermione: Come on, everywhere else is full.

Ron: Who do you think that is?

Hermione: Professor R. J. Lupin.

Ron: Do you know everything? How is it she knows everything?

Hermione: Its on his suitcase, Ronald.

Ron: Oh.

Harry:  Do you think he’s really asleep?

Hermione: I don’t now. Seems to be. Why?

Ron: Let me get this straight. Sirius Black escaped from Azkaban, to come after you?

Harry: Yeah.

Hermione: But they’ll catch, Black, wont they? I mean, everyones looking for him.

Ron: Sure. Except ones never broken out of Azkaban before, and he’s a murderous raving lunatic.

Harry: Thanks, Ron.

Hermione: Why are we stopping? We cant be there yet.

Ron: What’s going on?

Harry: I don’t know. Maybe we’ve broke down.

Hermione: Ouch! Ron that was my foot.

Ron:  There’s something moving out there. I think someone’s coming aboard. Bloody hell! What’s happening?

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Hermione: Harry. Harry, are you all right?

Harry: Thank you.

Lupin: Here. Eat this. It’ll help. Its alright. Its chocolate.

Harry: Wha--what was that thing that came?

Lupin: It was a dementor. One of the guards of Azkaban. Its gone now. It was searching to train for Sirius Black. If you’ll excuse me, I need to have a little word with. the driver Eat. You’ll feel better.

Ron: Well, you sort of went rigid, we thought you maybe you were having a fit or something.

Harry: And-and did either of you two...you know, pass out?

Ron: No. I felt weird though. Like I’d never be cheerful again.

Harry: But someone was screaming. A woman

Hermione: No one was screaming, Harry.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Dumbledore: Welcome! Welcome, to another year at Hogwarts. Now, I’d like to say a few words before we all become too befuddled by our excellent feast. Im pleased to welcome Professor R. J. Lupin, who’s kindly consented to fill the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Good luck, Professor.

Hermione: Of course. That’s why he knew to give you the chocolate, Harry.

Malfoy: Psst. Potter. Is it true you fainted? I mean, you actually fainted?

Ron: Shove off Malfoy

Harry: How did he find out?

Dumbledore: Our Care of Magical Creatures teacher for many years has decided to retire in order to spend more time with his remaining limbs. Fortunately, I’m delighted to announce that his place will be taken by none other than our own, Rubeus Hagrid. Finally, on a more disquieting note at the request of the Ministry of Magic, Hogwarts will, until further notice, play host to the dementors of Azkaban, until such a time as Sirius Black is captured. The dementors will be stationed at every entrance to the grounds. Now whilst ive been assured that their presence will not disrupt our day-to-day activities. A word of caution, dementors are vicious creatures. They will not distinguish between the one they hunt, and the one who gets in their way. Therefore, I must warn each and every one of you to give them no reason to harm you. It is not in the nature of a dementor to be forgiving. But you know, happiness can be found even in the darkest of times. If only one remembers to turn on the light.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Seamus Finnagin: Fortuna Major. Here listen. She just wont let me in.

Harry: Fortuna Major.

The Fat Lady: No, no, no. Wait, wait. Watch this. Amazing. Just with my voice.

The Fat Lady: Yes, all right. Go in.

Harry: Thank you!

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Harry: She’s still doing that after three years.

Seamus: She can’t even sing

Harry: Exactly.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Ron: Oh, green. That’s a monkey. What is that?

?: You call that a monkey? Don’t give him one again.

Ron: Hey Neville, try an elephant.

Seamus: Ron, catch.

Ron: I will

?: I think we have a winner!

Ron: Oh, don’t try one of them! Oh, no. Look at him. Look at his face.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Hermione: What a load of rubbish.

Ron: Where did you come from?

Hermione: Me? I’ve been here all this time.

Trelawney: You boy, is your grandmother quite well?

Neville: I-I think so.

Trelawney: I wouldn’t be so sure of that. Give me the cup. Pity. Broaden your minds. (gasp) Your aura is pulsing, dear. Are you in the beyond?

Ron: Sure

Trelawney: Look at the cup. Tell me what you see.

Ron: Oh, yeah, um. Well, Harry’s got sort of a wonky cross, that’s trials and suffering. And that there could be the sun and that’s happiness. So you’re gonna suffer, but you’re going to be happy about it.

Trelawney: Give me the cup. Oh, my dear boy. My dear, you have the Grim.

Sudent: The Grin? What’s the Grin?

Anotha student: Not the Grin, you idiot. The Grim. “Taking form of a giant spectral dog. Its among the darkest omens in our world. Its an omen, of death.”

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Hermione: Oh, honestly, Ron. It you ask me, Divination’s a very wooly dislipine. Now, Ancient Runes, that’s a fascinating subject.

Ron: Ancient Runes? Exactly how many classes are you taking this term?

Hermione: A fair few.

Ron: Hang on. That’s not possible. Ancient Runes is in the same time as Divination. You have to be in two classes at once.

Hermione: Don’t be silly, Ron. How could anyone be in two classes at once? “Broaden your minds! Use your Inner Eye to see the future.”

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Hagrid: That’s it. Come on now. Come closer. Less talking if you don’t mind. I got a real treat for you today. A great lesson. So follow me. Right, you lot, less chattering. Form a group over there. And open your books to page 49.

Malfoy: Exactly how do we do that?

Hagrid: Just stroke the spine, of course. Goodness, me!

Student: Don’t be such a wimp, Longbottom.

Neville: I’m okay. Okay.

Hermione: I think they’re funny.

Harry: Shut up, Malfoy.

Malfoy: Dementor! Dementor!

Hermione: Just ignore him.

Ron(to Neville): Youre supposed to stroke it.

Neville: Yeah.

Hagrid: Isn’t he beautiful? Say hello to Buckbeak.

Ron: Hagrid, exactly what is that?

Hagrid: That, Ron, is a hippogriff. First thing you wanna know about hippogriffs is that they’re very proud creatures, very easily offended. You do not want to insult a hippogriff. It may just be the last thing you ever do. Now who’d like to come and say hello? Well, done, Harry. Well done. Come on now. Now you have to let him make the first move. Its only polite. So step up. Give him  a nice bow. Then you wait and see if he bows back. If he does, you can go and touch him. If not--well we’ll get to that later. Just make your bow. Nice and low. Back off, Harry. Back off. Keep still. Keep still. Well done, Harry. Well done. Here you big brute, you. Right, I think you can go pet him, now. Go on. Don’t be shy. Nice and slow, now, nice and slow. Slow. Not so fast. Harry. Slow down, Harry. That’s it. Nice and slow. Now let him come to you. That’s it. Slowly, now. Slowly, Slowly, that’s it! Yes! Well done Harry. Well done! I think he may let you ride him now.

Hagrid: put you over here, just behind the wing joint. Don’t pull out any of his feathers because he won’t thank you for that. AFTER THE FLYING SEQUENCE. Hagrid-Well done, Harry. And well done, Buckbeak.

That was wicked, Harry.-?

Malfoy-Oh, please.

Hagrid-Well done. Well done. How am I doing me first day?

Harry: Brilliant. Professor.

Malfoy: Yes, You’re not dangerous at all, are you? You great ugly brute.

Hagrid: Malfoy , no. No! Buckbeak. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Buckbeak! Away, you silly creature.

Malfoy: It’s killed me! It’s killed me!

Hagrid: Calm down. It’s--it’s just a scratch.

Hermione: Hagrid. He has to be taken to the hospital.

Hagrid: I’m the teacher, I’ll do it.

Malfoy: Youre gonna regret this.

Hagrid: Class dismissed.

Malfoy: You and your bloody chicken.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Does it hurt, terribly. Draco?-?

Ron: Listen to the idiot. He’s really laying it on thick, isn’t he?

Harry: Yeah, but at least Hagrid didn’t get fired.

Hermione: yeah, but I hear Draco’s father’s furious. We haven’t heard the end of this.

Seamus: He’s been sighted. He’s been sighted!

Who?-?

Seamus-Sirius Black

Hermione: Dufftown? That’s not far from here.

Neville: You don’t think he’d come to Hogwarts, do you?

With dementors at every entrance?-?

Seamus-Dementors? He’s already slipped pass them once, hasn’t he? Who’s to say he wont do it again?

That’s right. Black could be anywhere. It’s like trying to catch smoke. Like trying to catch smoke with your bear hands.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Lupin: Intriguing, isn’t it? Would anyone like to venture a guess as to what is inside?

Mr. Thomas: That’s a boggart, that is.

Lupin: Very good, Mr. Thomas. Now can anybody tell me what a boggart looks like?

Hermione: No one knows.

Hermione: Boggarts are shape-shifters. They take the shape of whatever a particular person fears the most. That’s what makes them--

Lupin: So terrifying. Yes, yes, yes. Luckily, a very simple charm exists to repel a boggart. Let’s practice it now. Without wands, please. After me. Riddikulus!

Class: Riddikulus!

Lupin: Yes, very good. A little louder and very clear, listen. Riddikulus!

Class: Riddikulus!

Malfoy: This class is ridiculous.

Lupin: Very good. Now so much for the easy part. You see, the incantation alone is not enough. What really finishes a boggart is laughter. You need to force it to assume a shape you find truly amusing. Let me explain. Neville, would you join me, please? Come on, don’t be shy. Come on, come on. Hello. Neville, what frightens you most of all?

Neville: Professor Snape.

Lupin: Sorry?

Neville: Professor Snape.

Lupin: Professor Snape, yes. Frightens all. And I believe you live with your grandmother?

Neville: Yes, but I don’t want that boggart to turn into her, either

Neville: She carries a red handbag.

Lupin: We don’t need to hear. As long as you see it, we’ll see it. Now, when I open that wardrobe, here’s what I want you to do. Excuse me. Imagine Professor Snape in your grandmothers clothes. Can you do that? Yes. Wand at the ready. One, two, three. Think Neville, think.

Neville: Riddikulus!

Lupin: Wonderful, Neville. Wonderful! Incredible! Okay, to the back, Neville. Everyone form a line. Form a line. I want everyone to picture the thing they fear the very most and turn it into something funny. Next! Ron! Concentrate. Face your fear. Be brave! Wand at the ready.

Ron: Riddikulus!

Lupin: Yes! You see? Very good, very good. Marvelous! Absolutely very, very enjoyable. Parvati! Next! Show us what you see. Keep your nerve, steady.

Parvati: Riddikulus!

Lupin: And next! Step up, step up! Wonderful, wonderful! Here! Riddikulus! Right, well sorry about that. Enough for the day. Collect your books from the back of the class and that’s the end of the lesson. Thank you. Sorry. Sorry, you can have too much of a good thing.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Filch: All those with permission follow me, those without, stay put.

Harry: Look, professor. I thought if you signed it then I could go.

McGonnagall: I can’t. Only a parent or guardian can sign. Since I’m neither, it would be inappropriate. I’m sorry, Potter. That’s my final word.

Harry:  Forget about it, guys. See you later.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Harry: Professor, can I ask you something?

Lupin: You want to know why I stopped you facing that boggart, yes? I would have thought it’d be obvious. I assumed it would take the shape of Lord Vordemort.

Harry: I did think of Vordemort at first. But then I remembered that night on the train and the dementor.

Lupin: I’m very impressed. That suggests what you fear most is fear itself. This is very wise.

Harry: Before I fainted I heard something. A woman screaming.

Lupin: Dementors force us to relive our very worst memories. Our pain becomes their power.

Lupin: You know, the very first time I saw you Harry, I recognized you immediately. Not by our scar, by your eyes. They’re your mothers, Lily. Yes, oh yes. I knew her. Your mother was there for me at a time no one else was. Not only was she a singularly gifted witch she was also uncommonly kind. She had a way of seeing the beauty in others even ans perhaps most especially when that person couldn’t see it in themselves. And your father, James, one the other hand he-he had a certain, shall we say, talent for trouble. A talent rumor has it he passed on to you. You’re more like them than you know, Harry. In time, you’ll come to see just how much

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Ron: Honeyduke’s Sweetshop is brilliant, but nothing beats Zonko’s Joke Shop. We never did get the chance to the Shrieking Shack, though. You heard it’s the most--

Harry: Haunted building in Britain. Yeah, I know. What’s going on?

Ron: Probably Neville’s forgotten the password again.

Neville: Hey!

Ron: Oh, you’re there.

Percy: Let me through, please. Excuse me. I’m Head Boy. Get back. All of you. No on is to enter this dormitory until it has been thoroughly searched!

Ginny: The Fat Lady! She’s gone!

Hermione: It’s not funny, Ron!

Percy: Keep calm everyone. Break into fours. Back to your common room. Be quiet.

Dumbledore: Make way!

Percy: The headmaster’s here.

Dumbledore: Come on move, move. You heard move. Mr. Filch? Round up the ghosts. Tell them to search every painting in the castle to find the Fat Lady.

Filch: There’s no need for ghosts, professor. The Fay Lady’s there.

Percy: Mind where you’re going. You listen! I’m Head Boy! Come back here!

Dumbledore: Keep moving. Dear lady, who did this to you?

The Fat Lady: Eyes like the devil, he’s got, and a soul as dark as his name. It’s him, headmaster. The one they all talk about. He’s here somewhere in the castle! Sirius Black!

Dumbledore: Search the castle, Mr. Filch. The rest of you, to the Great Hall.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Filch: I’ve searched the Astronomy Tower and the Owlery, sir. There’s nothing there.

Dumbledore: Thank You.

?: The third floor’s clear too.

Snape: I’ve done the dungeons headmaster. No sign of Black, nor anywhere else in the castle.

Dumbledore: I didn’t really expect him to linger.

Snape: Remarkable feat, don’t you think? To enter Hogwarts castle undetected.

Dumbeldore: Quite remarkable, yes.

Snape: Any theories on how he managed it?

Dumbledore: Many. Each as unlikely as the next.

Snape: You may recall prior to the start of term I expressed concerns about your appointment of Professor--

Dumbledore: Not a single professor inside this castle would help Sirius Black to enter it. I’m quite convinced the castle is safe and I’m more than willing to send the students back to their houses.

Snape: What about Potter? Should he be warned?

Dumbledore: Perhaps. But for now, let him sleep. For in dreams we enter a world that’s entirely our own. Let them swim in the deepest ocean or glide over the highest cloud.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Snape: Turn to page 394.

Harry: Excuse me, sir. Where’s Professor Lupin?

Snape: That’s not really your concern, now is it Mr. Potter. Suffice it to say that your professor finds himself incapable of teaching at the present time. Turn to page 394.

Hermione: But sir, we’ve just begun on learning about redcaps and kinkypunks. We’re not meant to start on that for weeks.

Snape: Quiet.

Ron: When did she come in? Did you hear her come in?

Snape: Now which of you cane tell me the difference between an Animagus and a werewolf? No one? How disappointing.

Hermione: Please, sir. An Animagus is a wizard who elects to turn into an animal. A werewolf has no choice. With each full moon when he transforms he no longer remembers who he is. He’d kill his best friend if he’d cross his path. Furthermore, the werewolf only responds to the call of his own kind.

Malfoy: Awhoo!

Snape: Thank you, Mr. Malfoy. That is the second time you’ve spoken out of turn, Miss Granger. Are you incapable of restraining yourself, or do you take pride in being an insufferable know-it-all?

Ron: He’s got a point, you know.

Snape: Five points from Gryffindor. As an antidote to your ignorance and on my desk by Monday morning, two rolls of parchment on the werewolf, with emphasis on recognizing it.

Harry: But, sir, its Quidditch tomorrow.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

A Chant by the students of Gryffindor: Go, Go, Gryffindor!

Hermione: Go, Harry! Wahoo! Go Harry!

Dumbledore: Aresto momentum!

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Ron: He looks a bit peaky, doesn’t he?

Twin ?: Pecky? What do you expect? He fell over 100 feet.

Twin ?: Yeah, come on Ron. Lets walk you off the Astronomy Tower and see what you look like.

Harry: Probably a right sight better than he normally does.

Hermione: How are you feeling?

Harry: Oh, brilliant.

Twin ?: You gave us a right good scare there, mate.

Harry: What happened?

Ron: Well, you fell of your broom.

Harry: Really? I meant the match. Who won?

Hermione: Um, no one blames you, Harry. The dementors are not supposed to come inside the grounds. Dumbledore was furious. As soon as he saved you he sent them straight off.

Ron: There’s, uh, something else you should know too, Harry. Um, when you fell, your broom sort of blew into the Whomping Willow, and well...

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Lupin: I’m sorry to hear about your broomstick. Is there no chance of fixing it?

Harry: No. Professor, why do the dementors affect me so? I mean, more than everyone else?

Lupin: Listen. The dementors are amongst the foulest creatures to walk this earth. They feed on every good feeling, every happy memory, until a person if left with absolutely nothing but his worst experiences. You are not weak, Harry. The dementors affect you most of all because there are true horrors in your past. Horrors your classmates can scarcely imagine. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

Harry: I’m scared, professor.

Lupin: Well, I consider you a fool if you weren’t.

Harry: I need to know how to fight them. You could teach me. You made that dementor on the train go away.

Lupin: There was only one that night.

Harry: But you made it go away.

Lupin: I don’t pretend to be an expert, Harry. But as the dementors seem to have developed a particular interest in you perhaps I should teach you. But after the holidays. Now, I need to rest.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Harry: guys, let me go.

Twin ?: Clever, Harry.

Twin ?: But not clever enough.

Twin ?: Besides, we’ve got a better way.

Harry: Guys, come on, I’m trying to get to Hogsmeade.

Both: We know

Twin ?: Don’t worry

Twin ?: We’ll get you there

Twin ?: We’ll show you a quicker way

Twin ?: If you pipe down

Twin ?: Bless him

Harry: Let me go! Come on, guys. Don’t--

Twin ?: Now, Harry.

Both: Come and join the big boys.

Harry: What are you doing? What’s this rubbish?

Fred: “What’s this rubbish?” he says. That there is the secret to our success.

George: It’s a wrench giving it to you, believe me.

Fred: But we’ve decided that your needs are greater than ours. George, if you will.

George: I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Harry: “Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs are proud to present The Marauders Map”?

George: We owe them so much.

Harry: Hang on. This is Hogwarts. And that--No. Is that really--

Fred: Dumbledore.

George: In his study.

Fred: Pacing. Does that a lot.

Harry: So, you mean this map shows--

Twin ?: Everyone.

Everyone?

George: Everyone.

Fred: Where they are.

George: What they’re doing.

Fred: Every minute

George: Of everyday.

Harry: Brilliant! Where did you get it?

Fred: Nipped it from Filch’s Office of course. First year.

George: Now listen. There are seven secret passageways out of the castle. We’d recommend--

Both: This one

George: The One-Eyed Witch passageway. It leads you straight to Honeydukes cellar.

Fred: You best hurry. Filch is heading this way.

George: Oh and Harry. Don’t forget. When you’re done, just give it a tap and say:

Both: Mischief managed. Otherwise anyone can read it.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Hermione: Its meant to be the most haunted building in Britain. Did I mention that?

Ron: Twice.

Hermione: Do you want to move a bit closer?

Ron: Huh?

Hermione: To the Shrieking Shack?

Ron: Oh, oh, I’m-I’m-I’m actually fine here.

Malfoy: Well, well, look who’s here. You two shopping for you new dream home? Bit grand for you, isn’t it Weasel-Bee? Don’t your family sleep, uh, in one room?

Ron: Shut your mouth, Malfoy.

Malfoy: Awe, not very friendly. Boys, I think its time we teach Weasel-Bee how to respect his superior’s.

Hermione: Hope you don’t mean yourselves.

Malfoy: How dare you talk to me! You filthy little mudblood! Who is that?(snowball) Don’t just stand there! Do something!

Crabbe: What?

Ron: What’s up, Malfoy, lost your skies?

Malfoy: Get out of the way, move!

Crabbe: Malfoy, wait! Wait!

Hermione: Harry!

Ron: Bloody hell, Harry. That was not funny.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Ron: Those weasels! Never told me about any Marauders Map.

Hermione: Harry isn’t going to keep it. He’s going to turn it in to Professor McGonnagall. Aren’t you?

Ron: Oh sure, along with his Invisibility Cloak.

Hermione: Oh, look who it is. Madam Rosmerta. Ron fancies her.

?: Professor McGonnagall.

Cornelius: Madam Rosmerta.

Hagrid: Allow me, minister.

Cornelius: Oh Hagrid-

Hagrid: Sorry about that.

Cornelius: Rosmerta, my dear. I hope business is good.

Madam Rosmerta: It’d be a lot better if the Ministry wasn’t sending dementors into my pub every other night.

Cornelius: We have-we have a killer on the lose.

Rosmerta: Sirius Black in Hogsmeade! And what would bring him here?

Cornelius: Harry Potter

Harry Potter?

Cornelius: Shh! Come

Hermione: Harry!

Head: I say, no under age wizards allowed in today.

Shut damn door!

Hermione: So rude!

Ron: Thick heads.

Head: Thick heads?

Head: How dare they!

Head: Who are they calling thick heads?

Head: Young whippersnappers!

Rosmerta: Nobody’s gonna come to a pub when they’re gonna get scared out of their wits.

McGonnagall: Professor Dumbledore doesn’t want them around, I can assure you.

Rosmerta: Now, tell me what this is all about.

McGonnagall: Well, now years ago, when Harry Potters parents realized they were marked for death...Do you remember? They went into hiding. Few knew where they were. One who did was Sirius Black. And he told You-Know-Who. Not only did Black lead You-Know-Who to the Potters that night but he also killed one of their friends, Peter Pettigrew.

Rosmerta: Peter Pettigrew?

McGonnagall: Little lump of a boy. Always trailing after Sirius Black.

Rosmerta: Oh, I remember him. Never let James and Sirius out of his sight. But what happened?

McGonnagall: Well, Peter Pettigrew tried to warn the Potters, and might have managed to, had he not run into an old friend, Sirius Black.

Cornelius: Black was vicious. He didn’t kill Pettigrew. He destroyed him! A finger. That’s all that was left. A finger. Nothing else.

McGonnagall: Yes, Sirius Black may not have put his hands to the Potters, but he’s the reason their dead.

Rosmerta: I don’t believe it.

McGonnagall: That’s not the worst of it.

Rosmerta: No? What could be worse?

McGonnagall: This: Sirius Black was and remains to this day, Harry Potter’s Godfather.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Hermione: Ron, look!

Hermione: Sorry. Sorry. Excuse me. Excuse me.

Ron: Merry Christmas.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Hermione: Harry, what happened?

Harry: He was their friend, and he betrayed them. He was their friend! I hope he finds me because when he does, I’m gonna be ready. When he does, I’m gonna kill him!

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Lupin: Harry, there you are. You came. Now are you sure about this, Harry? You know this is very advanced magic. Well beyond the Ordinary Wizarding Level.

Lupin: Well, everything’s prepared. Now, the spell I’m going to try and teach you is called the Patronus Charm. Did you ever hear of it? No? Well, the Patronus is a kind of positive force. And for the wizard who can conjure one, it works something like a shield, with the dementor feeding on it, rather than him. But in order for it to work, you need to think of a memory, not just any memory, a very happy memory, a powerful memory. Can you do this? Yes. Very well. Close your eyes. Concentrate. Explore your past. Do you have a memory? Allow it to fill you up. Lose yourself within it. Then speak the incantation: Expecto Patronum.

Harry: Expecto Patronum.

Lupin: Very good. Shall we? Wand at the ready.

Harry: Expecto Patronum! Expecto...Expecto...Expecto...Expect-

Lupin: Here we go. Come on. Sit up. Deep breathes. Its allright. I didn’t expect you to do it the first time, that would have been remarkable. Here. Eat this. You’ll feel better.

Harry: That’s one nasty dementor.

Lupin: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. That was a boggart, Harry. A boggart. The real thing would be worse, much worse. As a matter of interest, what were you thinking? Which memory did you chose?

Harry: I first time I rode a broom.

Harry: There’s another. It’s not happy, exactly. Well, it is. It’s the happiest I ever felt, but its complicated.

Lupin: Is it strong? Then lets give it a try. You feel ready?

Harry: Just do it. Expecto Patronum! Expecto Patronum!

Lupin: Well done, Harry! Well done!

Harry: I think I’ve had enough, for today.

Lupin: Yes, sit down. Here. Eat this. It helps, it really helps. And just so you know, Harry I think you would have given your father for the run of his money. And that is saying something.

Harry: I was thinking of him. And mum. Seeing their faces. They were talking to me. Just talking. That’s the memory I chose. I don’t even know if it’s real. But it’s the best I have.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Hermione: Beautiful day.

Ron: Gorgeous. Unless of course you’ve been ripped to pieces.

Harry: Ripped to pieces? What are you talking about?

Hermione: Ronald has lost his rat.

Ron: I haven’t lost anything! Your cat killed him!

Hermione: Rubbish!

Ron: Harry, you’ve seen the way that blood thirsty beast of hers is always lurking about. And scabbers is gone.

Hermione: Well, maybe you should learn to take better care of your pets.

Ron: Your cat killed him!

Hermione: Did not.

Ron: Did.

Hermione: Didn’t. 

Hermione: How did it go, Hagrid? The Hearing?

Hagrid: Well, first off, the committee member took turns talking about why we were there. And then I got up and did my piece. Said how Buckbeak was a good hippogriff, always cleaned his feathers. And then Lucius Malfoy got up. Well, you can imagine. He said Buckbeak was a deadly and dangerous creature who would kill you as soon as look at you.

Hermione: And then?

Hagrid: And then he asked for the worst, did the old Lucius.

Ron: They’re not sacking you!

Hagrid: No, I’m not sacked. Buckbeak’s been sentenced to death.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Ron: Spiders! There’s-there’s spiders-spiders. They want me to tap-dance. I don’t want to tap-dance.

Harry: You tell those spiders, Ron.

Ron: Right, yeah, tell them. I’ll tell them.

Rosmerta: Peter Pettigrew?

McGonnagall: Little lump of a boy. Always trailing after Sirius Black.

Cornelius: Black was vicious. He didn’t kill Pettigrew. He destroyed him!

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Wizard in painting: Put that light out.

Harry: Sorry.

Another: Watch it there, boy.

And another: We’re trying to sleep here

Yet another: Yes we are.

Snape: Potter. What are you doing wandering the corridors at night?

Harry: I was sleepwalking.

Snape: How extraordinary like your father you are, Potter. He, too was exceedingly arrogant, strutting about the castle.

Harry: My dad didn’t strut. And nor do I. Now if you don’t mind, I would appreciate it if you’d lower your wand.

Snape: Turn out your pockets. Turn out your pockets! What’s this?

Harry: Spare bit of parchment.

Snape: Really? Open it. Reveal your secrets. Read it.

Harry: “Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs off their complements to Professor Snape and...”

Snape: Go on.

Harry: “And request that he keep his great abnormally large nose out of other peoples business.”

Snape: Why you insolent little...

Lupin: Professor!

Snape: Well, well. Lupin. Out for a little walk in the moonlight, are we?

Lupin: Harry, are you all right?

Snape: That remains to be seen. I have just now confiscated a rather curious artifact from Mr. Potter. Take a look, Lupin. Supposed to be in your area of expertise. Clearly, its full of dark magic.

Lupin: Oh, I seriously doubt it, Servus. It looks to me as though its merely a parchment designed to insult anyone who tries to read it. I suspect it’s a Zonko product. Nevertheless I shall investigate any hidden qualities it may possess. It is, after all, as you say, in my area of expertise. Harry, would you come with me, please? Professor, good night.

Wizard in painting: Are you deaf? Put that light out!

Lupin: Come in. Now I haven’t the faintest idea how this map came to be in your possession but quite frankly I am astounded that you didn’t hand it in. Did it ever occur to you that this, in the hands of Sirius Black is a map to you? No?

Harry: No, sir.

Lupin: You know, your father never set much store by the rules either. But he and your mother gave up their lived to save yours. And gambling their sacrifice by wandering about the castle unprotected with a killer on the loose seems to be a pretty poor way to repay them. Now I will not cover up for you again, Harry. DO you hear me?

Harry: Yes, sir.

Lupin: I want you to return to your dormitory and stay there. And don’t take any detours. If you do, I shall know.

Harry: Professor, just so you know, I don’t think that map always works. Earlier on, it showed someone in the castle. Someone I know to be dead.

Lupin: Oh really? And who might that be?

Harry: Peter Pettigrew

Lupin: That’s not possible.

Harry: It’s just what I saw. Good night, Professor.

Trelawney: Broaden your minds. You must look beyond. The art of crystal gazing is in the clearing of the Inner Eye. Only then can you see. Try again. Now, what do we have here?

Hermione: Oh, do you mind me trying? The Grim, possibly.

Trelawney: My dear, from the first moment you stepped foot in my class I sensed that you did not possess the proper spirit for the noble art of Divination. No, you see, there. Oh, you maybe young in years, but your heart within is no as shriveled as an old maids, your soul as dry as the pages of the books to which you so desperately cleave. Have I said something?(After Hermione storms outta class)

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Ron: She’s gone mental, Hermione has. I mean, not that she wasn’t always mental, but now it’s in the open for everyone to see.

Harry: Hang on. We better take this back.

Ron: I’m not going back.

Harry: Fine. See you later

Ron: See you.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Sirius Black: Harry Potter

Harry: Professor Trelawney

Trelawney: He will return tonight.

Harry: Sorry?

Trelawney: Tonight, he who betrayed his friends whose heart rots with murder shall break free. Innocent blood shall be spilt and servant and master shall be united once more. Oh, I’m so sorry, dear boy. Did you say something?

Harry: No. Nothing.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Hermione: I can’t believe they’re going to kill Buckbeak. It’s just too horrible.

Ron: It just got worse.

Crabbe: Look who’s here

Malfoy: Oh, come to see the show?

Hermione: You. You foul loathsome evil little cockroach!

Ron: Hermione, no! He’s not worth it!

Crabbe: Malfoy, are you okay? Lets go! Quick. (After Malfoy takes a sock in the face by our Miss Hermione Granger.)

Malfoy: Not a word to anyone, understood?

Hermione:  That felt good.

Ron: Not good, brilliant.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Hagrid: Oh, look at him. Loves the smell of the wind in the trees when the wind blows through them.

Harry: Why don’t you just set him free?

Hagrid: They’d know it was me and then Dumbledore would get into trouble. He’s coming down, you know. He says he wants to be with me when they...when it happens. Great man, Dumbledore! Great man.

Hermione: We’ll stay with you too, Hagrid.

Hagrid: You’ll do no such thing! Thin I want you seeing something like that? No. You just drink your tea and be off. Oh, before you do, Ron...

Ron: Scabbers! You’re alive!

Hagrid: I’d keep a closer eye on your pet, Ron.

Hermione: I think that means you owe someone an apology.

Ron: Right. Next time I see Crookshanks, I’ll let him know.

Hermione: I meant me!

Hagrid: Blimey! What was that?

Harry: Owe! Hagrid.

Hagrid: Oh, crikey. It’s late. It’s nearly dark. You shouldn’t be here. Someone see you outside the castle at this time of night, you’ll be in trouble. Particularly you, Harry. (Knock Knock) With you in a moment. Quick! Quick

Harry: Hagrid. It’ll be fine. It’ll be okay.

Hagrid: Go on, go on!

Dumbledore: Ah, Hagrid.

Hagrid: Professor Dumbledore. Good evening. Minister. Make your way through. Have a tea if you like.

Dumbledore: No, Hagrid.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Harry: What?

Hermione: I thought I just saw...never mind.

Ron: Lets go!

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Harry: Oh, no.

Ron: Owe, He bit me. Scabbers.

Hermione: Ron. Ron!

Harry: Ron!

Ron: Scabbers come back!

Harry: Wait!

Ron: Scabbers, you bit me!

Hermione: Harry, you do realize what tree this is

Harry: That’s not good. Ron, run!

Ron: Harry, Hermione, run! It’s the Grim! Harry! (The “Grim” has a hold on Ron’s leg)

Harry: Ron, Ron, wait!

Hermione: Ron!

Ron: Harry!

Hermione: Ron!

Ron: Help!

Harry: Ron. Ron. Ron

Hermione: Ron!

Harry: Come on, move!

Hermione: Duck! Harry! (Hermione got caught up on a branch of da Whomping Willow.)

Hermione: Oh, I’m sorry. (She fell on his back)

Harry: Don’t worry.

Hermione: Where do you suppose this goes?

Harry: I have a hunch. I just hope I’m wrong.

Hermione: We’re in the Shrieking Shack, aren’t we?

Harry: Come on.

Harry: Ron.

Hermione: Ron, you’re okay.

Harry: The dog. Where is it?

Ron: Harry, it’s a trap. He’s the dog. He’s an Animagus.

Hermione: If you want to kill Harry, you’ll have to kill us too!

Sirius Black: Only one will die tonight.

Harry: Then it’ll be you!

Sirius Black: Are you going to kill me, Harry?

Lupin: Expelliarmus! Well, well, Sirius. Looking father ragged aren’t we? Finally the flesh reflects the madness within.

Sirius Black: Well, you’d know all about the madness within, wouldn’t you, Remus?

Sirius: I found him.

Lupin: I know

Sirius: He’s here.

Lupin: I understand.

Sirius: Let’s kill him!

Lupin: How long have you known?

Hermione: Since Professor Snape set the essay.

Lupin: Well, Hermione. You really are the brightest witch of your age I’ve ever met.

Sirius: Enough talk, Remus. Come on, let’s kill him!

Lupin: Wait!

Sirius: I did my waiting! Twelve years of it. In Azkaban!

Lupin: Very well. Kill him. But wait one more minute. Harry has the right to know why.

Harry: I know why. You betrayed my parents. You’re the reason they’re dead.

Lupin: No, Harry, it wasn’t him. Somebody did betray your parents, but it was somebody who until quite recently I believed to be dead!

Harry: Who was it then?

Sirius: Peter Pettigrew! And he’s in this room. Right now. Come out, come out Peter! Come out, come out and play!

Snape: Expelliarmus! Oh, vengeance is sweet. How I hoped to be the one to catch you.

Lupin: Serverus.

Snape: I told Dumbledore you were helping an old friend into the castle. And now here’s the proof.

Sirius: Brilliant, Snape. Once again, you put your keen and penetrating mind to the task and as usual come to the wrong conclusion. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have unfinished business to attend to.

Ron: Scabbers has been in my family for--

Sirius: Twelve years? Curiously long lie for a common garden rat. He’s missing a toe, isn’t he?

Ron: So what?

Harry: All they could find of Pettigrew was his--

Sirius: Finger! The dirty coward cut if off so everyone would think he was dead! And then he transformed into a rat!

Harry: Show me! Give it to him, Ron.

Ron: What are you trying to do to him? Scabbers! Leave him alone! Get off him! What are you doing? Scabbers!

Peter Pettigrew: Remus? Sirius. My old friends! Harry! Look at you. You look so much like your father. Like James. We were the best of friends--

Sirius: How dare you speak to Harry! How dare you talk about James in front of him!

Lupin: You sold James and Lily to Vordemort! Didn’t you?

Peter: I didn’t mean to! The Dark Lord. You have no idea the weapons he possesses. Ask yourself, Sirius! What would you have done? What would you have done?

Sirius: I would’ve died. I would’ve died rather than betray my friends.

Peter: Harry, James wouldn’t have wanted me killed! Your dad would have spared me. He would show me mercy!

Sirius: You should have realized, Peter, that if Vordemort didn’t kill you, we would! Together!

Harry: No!

Lupin: Harry, this man--

Harry: I know what he is. But we’ll take him to the castle.

Peter: Bless you, boy, bless you.

Harry: Get off! I said we’d take you to the castle. After that, the dementors can have you.

Sirius: Sorry about the bite. I reckon that twinges a bit.

Ron: A bit? A bit? You almost tore my leg off!

Sirius: I was going for the rat. Normally, I have a very sweet disposition as a dog. In fact, more than once, James suggested I make the change permanent. The tail I could live with. But the fleas, they’re murder.

Harry: Okay. Okay.

Ron: You better go.

Harry: No. No. Don’t worry. It’s fine. I’ll stay.

Hermione: You go, I’ll stay.

Harry: You okay?

Ron: I’m fine. Go.

Hermione: Owe, that looks really painful.

Ron: So painful. They, uh, might chop it off.

Hermione: I’m sure Madam Pomfrey will fix it in a heartbeat.

Ron: Its too late. It’s ruined. It’ll have to be chopped off.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Sirius: It’s beautiful, isn’t it? I’ll never forget the first time I walked through those doors. It’ll be nice to do it again as a free man. That was a noble thing you did back there. He doesn’t deserve it.

Harry: Well, I just didn’t think my dad would have wanted his two best friends to become killers. Besides, dead the truth dies with him. Alive, you’re free.

Peter Pettigrew: Turn me into a flobberworm. Anything but the dmentors! Ron! Haven’t I been a good friend? A good pet? You won’t let them give me to the dementors, will you? I was your rat! Sweet girl, clever girl! Surely you won’t let--

Lupin: Get away from her!

Sirius: I don’t know if you know this Harry, bue when you were born, James and Lily made me your godfather.

Harry: I know.

Sirius: I can understand if you choose to stay with your aunt and uncle but if you ever wanted a different home.

Harry: What? Come and live with you?

Sirius: It’s just a thought. I can understand if you don’t want to.

Hermione: Harry! (Pointing to the full moon)

Sirius: Remus, my friend. Have you taken your potion tonight? You know the man you truly are, Remus. This heart is where you truly live. This heart is where you truly live. Here! This flesh is only flesh!

Harry: Expelliarmus!

Sirius: Remus! Remus! Run! Run!

Harry: Come on!

Hermione: Wait! Wait!

Ron: Hermione. Bad idea. Bad idea.

Hermione: Professor? Professor Lupin?

Ron: Nice doggy. Nice doggy!

Snape: There you are, Potter!

Harry: Sirius.

Snape: Come back, Potter!

Harry: Sirius! No. Sirius! Expecto Patronum! Sirius.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Hermione: Harry?

Harry: I saw my dad.

Hermione: What?

Harry: He sent the dementor’s away. I saw him across the lake.

Hermione: Listen, Harry. They’ve captured Sirius. Any minute, the dementor’s are gonna perform the kiss.

Harry: You mean they’re gonna kill him?

Hermione: No. Its worse. Much worse. They’re going to suck out his soul. Headmaster, you’ve got to stop them. They’ve got the wrong man.

Harry: Its true, sir. Sirius is innocent.

Ron: Its Scabbers who did it.

Dumbledore: Scabbers?

Ron: He’s my rat, sir. He’s not really a rat. He was a rat. He was my brother, Percy’s rat. But then they gave him an owl.

Hermione: The point is, we know the truth. Please believe us.

Dumbledore: I do, Miss Granger. But its hard to say that the word of three 13-year-old wizards will convince few others. A child’s voice, however honest and true, meaningless to those who forgotten how to listen. Mysterious thing, time. Powerful and when meddled with dangerous. Sirius Black is in the topmost cell of the Dark Tower. You know the laws Miss Granger. You must not be seen. And you would do well, I feel, to return before this last chime. If not, the consequences are too ghastly to discuss.. If you succeed tonight, than more than one innocent life may be spared. Three turns should do it, I think. Oh, and by the way, when in doubt, I find retracing my steps to be a wise place to begin. Good Luck!

Ron: What the bloody hell was that all about?

Hermione: Sorry, Ron, but seeing as you can’t walk.

Future Harry: What just happened? Where’s Ron?

Future Hermione: 7:30. Where were we at 7:30?

Future Harry: I don’t know. Going to Hagrids?

Future Hermione: Come on. And we can’t be seen.

Future Harry: Hermione!

Future Harry: Hermione! Hermione, wait! Hermione, will you please tell me what it is we’re doing?

Past Malfoy: Oh, come to see the show?

Past Hermione: You. You foul loathsome evil little cockroach!

Future Harry: That’s us.

Past Ron: Hermione, no! He’s not worth it!

Future Harry: This is not normal.

Future Hermione: This is a Time-Turner, Harry. McGonnagall gave it to me first term. This is how I’ve been getting to my lessons all year.

Future Harry: You mean we’ve gone back in time?

Future Hermione: Yes. Dumbledore obviously wanted us to return to this moment. Clearly, something happens he wants us to change.

Future Harry: Good punch.

Future Hermione: Thanks. Malfoy’s coming!

Crabbe: Wait for me.

Past ?: Run

Past Malfoy: Not a word to anyone, understood?

Past ?: Okay.

Past Malfoy: I’m gonna get that jumped-up mudblood! Mark my words.

Past Hermione:  That felt good.

Past Ron: Not good, brilliant.

Past Harry: Come on, we should be at Hagrids.

Future Harry: Look. Buckbeak’s still alive.

Future Hermione: Of course. Remember what Dumbledore said? If we succeed, more than one innocent life could be spared. Lets go.

Past Hagrid: Great man, Dumbledore. Great man.

Future Harry: Here they come. I’d better hurry.

Future Hermione: Fudge has to see Buckbeak before we steal him. Otherwise, he’ll think Hagrid set him free.

Past Ron: Scabbers! You’re alive!

Past Hagrid: I’d keep a closer eye on your pet, Ron.

Future Harry: That’s Pettigrew.

Future Hermione: Harry, you cant.

Future Harry: Hermione, that’s the man who betrayed my parents. You don’t expect me to just sit here!

Future Hermione: Yes, and you must! Harry, you in Hagrid’s hut now. If you just go bursting in, you’ll think you’ve gone mad! Awful things happened to wizards who meddle with time, Harry, we can’t be seen. Fudge is coming. And we aren’t leaving. Why aren’t we leaving?

Future Harry: Are you mad?

Past Harry: Owe!

Future Harry: Owe. That hurt.

Future Hermione: Sorry. Come on, we’re coming out of the back door. Go!

Future Hermione: Is that really what my hair looks like from the back?

Past Harry: What?

Past Hermione: I thought I just saw...never mind.

Past Ron: Lets go.

Dumbledore: Minister, I really think I should sign as well.

Cornelius: Yes, very well. Perhaps it would be...

Future Harry: Okay, Buckbeak. Come quickly. Come with us now. Come on.

Future Hermione: Keep trying. Come on. Quickly.

Future Harry: Buckbeak. Okay? Quickly.

Your name only

Its such a very long name.

Future Harry: Hurry up now, Buckbeak, okay?

Future Hermione: Come on. Come on Buckbeak. Come and get the nice dead ferret. Come on. Its here. Come on Beaky

Dumbledore: Here we are minister. Follow me. Now look there.

Fudge: Where?

Dumbledore: Look beyond the rocks

Fudge: What am I supposed to see?

Dumbledore: Professor Dippet had that ling garden when he was headmaster.

Fudge: Oh, yes. Indeed, indeed.

Dumbeldore: And all the strawberries.

Future Harry: Come on, Buckbeak. Come on

Fudge: Strawberries, I see no strawberries.

Dumbledore: Over there

Fudge: Where?

Hagrid: Over there

Fudge: Lets get this over with

Dumbledore: All right.

Fudge: But where is it? I saw the beast, just now. Not a moment ago!

Dumbledore: How extraordinary.

Hagrid: Buckbeak?

Dumbledore: I don’t think the ministers suggesting you had anything to do with this, Hagrid. After all, how could you? You’ve been with us all the time.

Hagird: Uh, right.

Fudge: Well, well. We must search the grounds.

Dumbledore: Well, search the skies if you must, minister. Meanwhile, I’d kike a nice cup of tea, or a large brandy. Oh, executioner, your services are no longer required. And thank you.

Hagird: You’ll find no small glasses in this house, Professor.

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Future Harry: Come on. This way. This way now. Now what?

Future Hermione: We’re gonna save Sirius?

Future Harry: How?

Future Hermione: No idea. Look, its Lupin.

Lupin: Immobulus!

Future Hermione: And Snape’s coming.

Future Harry: And now we wait.

Future Hermione: And now we wait.

Future Hermione: At least someone’s enjoying himself.

Future Harry: Yeah. Hermione?

Future Hermione: Yeah?

Future Harry: Before, down by the lake, when I was with Sirius, I did see someone. That someone made the dementor’s go away.

Future Hermione: With a Patronus. I heard Snape telling Dumbledore. According to him, only a really powerful wizard could have conjured it.

Future Harry: It was my dad. It was my dad who conjured the Patronus.

Future Hermione: But Harry, your dad’s--

Future Harry: Dead, I know. I’m just telling you what I saw.

Future Hermione: Here we come.

Future Harry: You see Sirius talking to me there? He’s asking me to come and live with him.

Future Hermione: That’s great

Future Harry: When we free him, I’ll never have to go back to the Dursleys’. It’ll be just me and him. We could live in the country someplace you can see the sky.

Past Hermione: Harry!

Past Sirius: Run! Run!

Future Harry: Lets go!

Future Hermione: Ahwhooo!

Future Harry: What are you doing?

Future Hermione: Saving your life. Ahwhooo!

Future Harry: Thanks. Great. Now he’s coming for us.

Future Hermione: Yeah, I didn’t think about that. Run!

Future Hermione: That was so scary.

Future Harry: Poor Professor Lupin is having a really rough night. Sirius. Come on!(It be getting colder. The dementor’s.)

Future Hermione: This is horrible.

Future Harry: Don’t worry. My dad will come. He’ll conjure the Patronus. Any minute now. Right there. You’ll see.

Future Hermione: Harry, listen to me. No one’s coming.

Future Harry: Don’t worry. He will come. He will come.

Past Harry: Sirius.

Future Hermione: You’re dying both of you ,Harry.

Future Harry: Expecto Patronum!

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Future Harry: You were right, Hermione. It wasn’t my dad I saw earlier. It was me. I saw myself conjuring the Patronus before. I know I could do it this time because, well, I’ve already done it! Does that make sense?

Future Hermione: No, but I don’t really like flyinggggg

Future Hermione: Bombarde!

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Sirius: I’ll be forever grateful for this to both of you!

Harry: I want to go with you.

Sirius: One day, perhaps. For some time my life will be too unpredictable. And besides, you’re meant to be here.

Harry: But, you’re innocent

Sirius: And you know it. And for now, that will do. I expect your tired of hearing this, but you look so much like your father. Except your eyes. You have--

Harry: My mothers eyes.

Sirius: It’s cruel that I got to spend so much time with James and Lily, and you so little. But know this: The ones that love us never really leave us. And you can always find them in here. You really are the brightest witch of your age. (Sirius took off.)

Future: Hermione: We have to go.

Dumbledore: Well?

Harry: He’s free. We did it.

Dumbledore: Did what? Good night.

Ron: How did you get there? I was talking to you there. And now you’re there.

Hermione: What’s he talking about, Harry?

Harry: I don’t know. Honestly, Ron. How can somebody be in two places at once?

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Lupin: Hello, Harry. I saw you coming. I’ve looked worse, believe me.

Harry: You’ve been sacked.

Lupin: No, no. I resigned, actually.

Harry: Resigned? Why?

Lupin: Well, it seems that somebody let slip the nature of my condition. This time tomorrow, the owls will start arriving, and parents will not want a...well, someone like me teaching their children.

Harry: But Dumbledore...

Lupin: Dumbledore has already risked enough on my behalf. Besides, people like me are...well, lets just say I’m used to this by now. Why do you look so miserable, Harry?

Harry: None of it made any difference.

Lupin: Didn’t make any difference? Harry, it made all the difference in the world. You helped uncover the truth. You saved an innocent man from a terrible fate. It made a great deal of difference. If I am proud of anything, it is of how much you’ve learned this year. Now, since I am no longer your teacher, I feel no quilt whatsoever about giving this back to you. SO now I’ll say goodbye, Harry. I feel sure we’ll meet again sometime. Until then...mischief managed.

Ron: Stand back, I said. Or I’ll have to take it upstairs if you don’t settle.

Neville: Harry! Where ever did you get it?

Seamus: Can I have a go, Harry? After you of course.

Harry: What are you talking about?

Ron: Quiet. Let the man through. Oh, I didn’t mean to open it, Harry. It was badly wrapped. They made me do it.

Weasley Twins: Did not!

?: It’s a Firebolt.

?: It’s the fastest broom in the world.

Harry: For me? But who sent it?

Ron: No one knows.

Hermione: This came with it.

Go on, Harry.

Yeah, lets see.

How fast is it, Harry?

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Harry: Lumos. I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

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CREDITS BE ROLLIN’(ROLLIN, ROLLIN, ROLLIN, FROM LIMP BISKIT’S “ROLLIN”)

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Harry: Mischief managed. Nox.